Changing heroes!

 

We all grow up with a certain sense of individuals around us. There are levels at which we place people in our minds. Some are more important while some are less. And in the top section of this hierarchy, we place the most important people: Heroes, they are.

Heroes are those chosen persons from humankind whom we consciously and subconsciously follow. Sometimes we choose them ourselves and sometimes it is a product of some external influence. People mindlessly copy the mannerisms of their heroes. When they dream of happiness, it is with them. Our heroes make us yearn for their recognition and acknowledgement. We like them, watch them, want to spend time with them, long to meet them, obey them. Succinctly, we wish to be them.

Pertinent to mention that there are many instances where we deliberately overlook the questionable traits of our heroes. Since they are our role models, we do not want them to get off the pedestal where we have set them in our brains. Idolizing personalities hijacks our thinking ability which restricts us from questioning their credibility. Such an inherent quality that requires us to synchronize ourselves with people who we hold in high regards can have a very positive or a negative impact, contingent on who our heroes are and what earned them this label.

Have you not seen girls fangirling over the actress with the largest Instagram followers or the boy buying the most expensive tickets just to get an autograph from his most adored footballer without rethinking even once that if it’s worth it?

If we have the right heroes, our lives can shift 360 degrees. If we have the wrong ones, it’s no different.

Considerable studies have been carried out to show how we all grapple to be an imitation of our role models. A study under the learning approach of psychology ,by Bandura and Ross, was concerned with the tendency of children copying aggressive behavior. 72 participants were involved and the study reflected extremely positive correlations. Another sociologist, Ann Oakley, talks in detail about the effectiveness of role-modeling on gender socialization. Likewise, plenty of researches have been dedicated money and time. The said study and sociologist referred to the replication of any random person’s behavior. Imagine the probability offered by a hero, then.

Since heroes can have such a huge impact on our lives, is it not important to have the right ones?

People in authority, or who have achieved fame or a huge fan-following win this position effortlessly. Individuals with whom we cherish a good relationship and whom we make the talk of our table make it to the list as well.

Unfortunately, in the contemporary world where parents and teachers have outsourced their responsibility of being the first hero of their child, we have ended up with the wrong heroes. Parents desire their children to be in accordance to their values. Little do they realize that their children's values are governed by their heroes and not by some adults who love to instruct. A relationship which should have stood upon love, respect and trust is now based, solely upon instructions, expectations and surveillance. Why would you expect someone to obey you, let alone follow when they do not like you? Similarly, many of us question why is the current generation so deviant, why do they lack social and moral values, why do they prefer profane over sacred? Why is it that they do not listen?

The answer is simple but heart-wrenching. If an individual does not witness the attractiveness of intellect and wisdom in people, he was told were his parents and teachers, he will have to find other means to satiate that need. Blaming the media, drama serials, tiktokers, actors/actresses, sportspersons, models, vloggers, and Netflix to give him the wrong heroes to follow is easy. Blaming yourself for not being the right one is audacious. Unsubscribing to a sportsperson’s charisma would have been easy, only if I had another available. Are we all not the first-hand culprits for the situation we face with regards to the 21^st century?

Why is it that a young girl today envisages herself as future Kylie Jenner but not like the teacher, she was taught English by?

If you probe deeper into the child, she would probably say:

It is not because my teacher did not use Instagram. It was because she was inconsiderate of me. She advised, but without compassion, she said but never heard, she rebuked and seldom apologized. I believed in all that she taught, yet she hardly believed in me and when I had requested myself a day off, she had doubted my excuse.

Your heroes are your favorite people and so they indirectly choose on your behalf.

Why do I wear that overly-fitted dress? Because my favorite actress wore it.
Why do I prefer eating that unhealthy burger? Because my favorite sportsperson appeared in its commercial
Why do I buy the most expensive phone? Because my favorite vlogger has it too.

Heroes can be unsaid leaders. Be the hero of your children and they would want to be like you.  Be the hero of your students and they would want to obey you. Nobody likes their hero to be resented from them. People hold their heroes precious and care about their respect and honor. What is better, a person wanting to respect you or a person respecting you only because his own self-respect could be at stake?

Now it can be an important concern that if we don’t receive respect from people we were supposed to receive from, does a media-created hero give us that? No, but he himself receiving that respect encourages us to be like them. The actress on the new Netflix series doesn’t respect me but since people love her, and I haven’t received any, hence the only way people begin to love me is being like her.

Subsequently, since most teachers and parents have failed to be the real heroes, they also horribly, fail at making more heroes. You would not be interested in the heroes of a person who hasn’t been a hero to you. After all, is it worth noting what you like if I don’t like you? A teacher who humiliates his student should not be able to communicate him a worthwhile role model but a friend who has time to listen to his problem can easily form a mainstream singer to be his hero.

Mourn the loss later.

Similarly, the talk of my house, more precisely the table, is what decides the names, I would allow to be a part of my thought. Is not it surprising that parents who binge-watch the anchors on a talk show abusing each other punish their children for being aggressive? Woman who keeps track of all the outfits of her favorite actress forces her kids to read books. Currently, each of us is living under a delusion,  a contradiction so entrenched, that we have begun to assume it our normal.

Talk about Bill Gates, Elon Musk, and Steve Jobs. Construct the wrong picture of a hero

Or

Be the first hero. Talk about the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, his companions (Peace be upon them all) and other worthwhile personalities. End up constructing the right heroes.

Its time we rethink our heroes.

Who are they? Why they?

Am I a hero to anybody?

Is anybody following the wrong hero because I failed to represent the right?

Is my central-table endorsing the wrong names?

Remember, the unavailability of that one right hero is as significant of a problem as is the availability of plenty of wrong heroes.

Be a hero. Make more!